self-mutilation

We really do do it to ourselves

We all have that one thing that we fear above all else. We’ve thought about it. We’ve imagined it happening, and we’ve pictured ourselves dealing with it in the best way we can, each of us heroes in our own way. But all this is only for if it happens, in case it happens, because when it really does happen, when the one thing we always feared really does seem to be coming true, all the preparation in the world will not be enough to get us through it.

Sometimes it could have been avoided. When all the red flags were whipping madly in our faces, we could have tried pulling them out to save ourselves from the impending blow. But because as humans we are willing to endure all the pain — all that exquisite pain — for what little happiness we can get, we chose to leave the flags there, and in the end, we have no one to blame but ourselves.